National Bullying Prevention Month

October is National Bullying Prevention Month, how did I know this? Well last year in October I shared a very small post about it you can read about it here. October 10th is the day to wear orange! it's to celebrate Unity Day. Will you join?

Bullying is a very emotional subject for me, I think it is time for me to explain in a little more detail about it. It is something I have been debating for a long time, but I feel that lately I have been hearing more and more stories about it happening and if I can help one family or one victim of bullying through my story I will help prevent it!

You see I was bullied, every day. Every. Single. Day. For four straight years, it began the fall of 1989 as it was back to school. I was always happy to go to school, I loved going to school and learning. I liked my classmates and we all played together it was either soccer or basketball or kickball we also played cartoon characters and sometimes tag. But this school year was very different, our school had decided that they could no longer have 3 different groups in our grade so for sixth grade they combined the 3 separate classrooms to make only 2. This meant I had many more new classmates, some that even though we were in the same school since first grade, I had never met. I believe only 10 of my old classmates stayed in my same classroom.

Sadly my closest friends were in the other classroom, so I was left to make new friends or at recess hang out with the other classroom. So I did the best I could and on that first day of school I met a new girl {one who was new to our school} I quickly friended her and a couple of days after I confided in her that a kid in our class was "cute" it was an harmless comment. Yet this girl took it upon herself to let the boy know and that the start of my first bullying moment. This girl would call me names, point me out to the class when I had an awkward moment and make fun of my comment. It came to the point where I couldn't walk by this boy without everyone making fun of me {by the way this boy would never ever look at me or even say "hi" which was fine with me because it didn't add to the awkwardness}. 

I have always had a close family, my aunts and uncles have always been involved in my life. My parents would always travel with us. So when teachers would ask: "What did you do for this weekend?" I would always respond with: "My family and I...." so that was also the start of another bullying tool! I was then called "La family" in reference to my stories. I guess they didn't have that in their family. 

Then following year it escalated even more, now I was getting thumb tacks placed in my seat and sometimes right before I sat another classmate would say: "hold on!" and take the tacks away before I got hurt. Stress was not helping at all so I began having really bad acne and because of my Cuban genes I had a curvier teenage body than the rest of the class so I looked a little heavier than the rest so I was called "granola face" "pozole face" {pozole is Mexican dish with corn  hominy in it} as if this was not enough I was made fun of my weight and my Cuban curves. 

This continued for that entire school year and add some of the kids in the other classroom that were ganging up on me. In eight grade this got even worst, I wore glasses to read and write so I had my glasses in my backpack and was waiting for class to start. A classmate asked if they could borrow some money to buy some snacks and when I said I couldn't he kicked my backpack and broke my reading glasses in half. I began to cry so I was called a "cry baby", I visited the principals office and told them what had happened. This boy was called into the principals office and he was asked to replace my glasses, he was so upset about it that he came back to class to call me a "thief" that my glasses must've already been broken as he only kicked my backpack. So here we go again with the name calling... 

Every. Single. Day. Name calling, kicking my backpack, placing thumb tacks in my seat, making fun of me and calling out my awkward years. I could go on and on, but I don't want to add to opening these scars. I will never forget the last year of school, my last year at that school and with those classmates. My last day of "bullying" came with that girl that started it all saying she would beat me up because she couldn't stand the site of me and the rest of my classmates writing in my year book the same thing, page after page: 

"You are amazing for surviving! you are a survivor! congratulations!" 

Those words marked me for life, I am a survivor!!????? Why??? Because I lived through hell every day? Because I showed up to class every day? Are you kidding me??? What kind of cruel comment is this? 

Every day as my mother picked me up from school I remember leaning down in the car and crying all the way home. "Mom do I have some kind of contagious illness?" I would ask. "Mom, why are they so cruel?" and my mom and dad always supporting me and of course the Cuban in my mom would kick in and she would say: "Just wait darling, you will do fine. You will go back to school tomorrow and ignore those comments because they are not true. You are wonderful and a diamond in the rough that will soon shine!" 

In high school I choose to go to a new school, one that I knew for sure had all new people, new kids to meet. I was so glad and happy there that a month after when I showed up at a middle school friends' Quinceañera I had lost some weight and had no acne! my face was smooth and clear. I was beaming with a smile and happier and doing excellent in school. Some kids didn't recognize me and others came up and asked what I had done to clear my face as they were having acne problems now. My response? "I switched schools and have new classmates!" it was the truth! Stress was the cause of my acne.

Fast forward to College and I had amazing College years, I was always smiling and I had many friends. I did not endure anymore bullying. My College years, were my best years growing up. 

After I was married I was suggested to go to therapy for my bullying years, since I couldn't bump into those former classmates. I couldn't talk about middle school without getting emotional. So I did, thank God I did! Turns out I was carrying a lot of luggage, emotional luggage. One of the first exercises was to write a list with names of each person that hurt me and describe why I felt hurt by them. 

Through therapy I learned that everyone was going through hard times in their own life and I am not excusing these kids and their behavior, however this helped me heal. Growing up is a bit hard and it is different for everyone. As we grow older we begin to notice things in our life, at home or of ourselves that we don't like or agree with, some kids are not even fazed by it but others feel that in order to protect themselves they need to cover all bases even if that means bullying others and hurting them.

When I remember those difficult moments where I felt very hurt emotionally from bullies, I think back to what their life must've been like and I hope and pray that they have matured enough to teach their children that bullying is not the solution. I also hope and pray that they have healed for all they were hurting back then. 

Coincidentally a year after, a reunion was organized and I decided to attend; even though I was a bit nervous. But I felt that I was strong enough and I am now a confident woman. So I did, it felt a bit surreal seeing almost everyone there. There was no bullying, everyone was nice to me and most of them had forgotten what they had done before. I hadn't but I wasn't holding anymore grudges. I was confident and happy with how I am and how my life is. Next year will be our 20th reunion and I can now say I am friends with some of my former bullies. We've all grown up, some haven't but I don't care I choose to be the adult and continue on my path to a happy healthy life. 

Today there are so many resources to help prevent bullying, there is even a kids page dedicated to it! I am glad that organizations such as Pacer is taking the time and funds to help others. Here is there Kids Against Bullying website for children to visit with an adult and learn how to prevent bullying. Remember bullying prevention starts at home teaching children about respect and kindness! 

If you or someone you know is a bullying victim please let them know you care about them and visit  Teens Against Bullying to find resources to help them. 

This is NOT a paid or sponsored post, this is MY story. MY life and I wanted to share it with you to help create awareness and UNITE AGAINST BULLYING! Will you join me in this journey?